Saturday, June 11


I was feeling better, but now I’m just feeling ill again. Not enough to really prevent me from doing anything, but just enough to make everything feel like a bit of a chore. I work this evening, but with any luck I’ll be able to escape early and then come home and get a good night sleep. I’m quite sure that my lingering feelings of malaise is due to the fact that I haven’t been taking very good care of myself lately. Self care is a fine balance that I’m very good at throwing off kilter.

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I know that this is not a logical conclusion, but I keep thinking that at some point I’m going to get it all figured out and I’ll stop swinging off in one direction or another. I mean I've only been this way my whole life. I’ll be really great about exercising for several months and then I’ll miss one workout for some reason or another and then I won’t exercise again for months, kicking myself for not doing so.

It is the same way with my sleeping habits. The key is I have to stay off the computer after I get home from work, which is something I have proved time and time again I am unwilling to do.

I find my eating habit are easier to regulate. I just don't bring junk into the house. Actually remebering to eat well at regular intervals, I flucuate in, but not wildly.

It’s a funny dichotomy; on one hand I desperately crave a rigid routine, but soon after I get one in place I start bucking the system. I guess It's that just that restless intuitive nature of mine. I really don't want to change who I am, but sometimes I wish I could just be one way or the other a good girl or a rebel, instead I am both. Lucky me.

Sorry about the rambling navel gazing. While I know it’s not a very entertaining, I wanted to at least pop in with something and this is just what's on my mind today. Instead of sitting in front of the computer I'm going to go throw myself into action that usually knock these feelings away.

I just thought of something fun to attach. This is a game I found ages ago that I love and find to be extremely addictive. Play at your own risk.


Lora said...

Of course I had to go and play a round of it. I haven't played it in months: 2703

Anvilcloud said...

I once proved that I could sleep fairly regularly and feel good doing it. I could do this by getting up at the same time every day. Although I proved this, I never had the discipline to follow through.

J Bo said...

I get up at the same time everyday, no matter what- I think it's because of the dog. But on weekends, I go back to bed and get up close to 9.

I know what you mean about regiment and schedules, though. When I was out of work, I centered my day around job interviews, school pick up and drop off, and volunteer time. Not very scheduled except for the drop off/pick up part. And not running on the same track each day can make you feel sick.

Glad to see that you have posted today! Take care of you.

J Bo

Catez said...

Hi Lora,
I hope you are feeling better healthwise. As for balance...hmmm... Easier said than done - I can relate.

oceanskies79 said...

The game is fun. Thanks Lora.

oceanskies79 said...

Wishing you good health.

Stephanie said...

It sounds like maybe you suffer from something that afflicts me: I like change, big projects, rearranging the furniture - I don't like to maintain, clean or do anything twice. Which is why I tend to drop even efficient and productive habits. Am trying to train myself to be more of a maintainer. :)

tapestrygirl said...

oh yes. the dichotomy. couple that with the incredibly active brain and voila, ADD here i come! the less structure, the more i want it. the more structure, the less i want it. i have felt balance a few days in my life. i'll have it when i really really want it. it's like a game. there is a payoff. for me anyways. hope you are feeling wonderful! xoxo